Single? Find Your Perfect Match

Dating Someone Who Appears Out of Your League

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Funny thing, you never expected that the brilliant well-educated wealthy lawyer asked you for a date. You met at the company’s canteen for lunch. He was with his group of friends and his bosom buddy is a colleague of your lunch mate. After the small talks, smiles and jokes for some weeks, he asked you if you would like to watch his tennis game next Saturday.

You are new in the company, worked your way through university like anyone and considered yourself lucky to land that job. And you never were an athletic person. Occasionally though you would enjoy dancing with your friends. But tennis was never your cup of tea. What to do?

Consider these various scenarios: the office clerk dates the life of the party, the daughter of the founder of the corporation; a brilliant rocket scientist dates a nurse. Some may consider them ridiculous! But it happens.

So how would you date someone who appears to be out of your league? You would say that as human beings we all have the same universal feelings and emotions and we are all on the same league. But what make us out of league with others are our differences in socio-economic status, educational background, and even race, with the consequent differences in culture that it brings. Society, where we move and breathe, groups us into different leagues. And when two different persons of different leagues interact with each other, society takes notice.

If you date someone out of your league, here are some things to remember to make that date a beautiful way of knowing each other. These simple tips can give you confidence to go out with that someone who appears to be out of your league.

  • Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else. You would look fake and cheap if you make an image of yourself that is different from the real you. At first, it may not be noticeable but later it may come out naturally when what you say is not consistent with how you act and think. When your date finds out that he or she is dating a fraud his or her interest will surely burn out.
  • Accept that not all persons have the same talent, ability and endowment. Do not be bothered that you are both at different levels in terms of wealth, education, and culture. What are really important are the character and the personality of the person that is hidden in all the layers of that difference. So better not make an issue out of it.
  • Talk about your educational backgrounds in general terms. The higher league should not go much into specifics bragging about all the exclusive schools he or she had gone to and emphasizing it in lurid details. Describe it in a matter of fact way. The one with the lower league should not make an imaginative story to boost his or her ego. Describe it with humor, not with condescension.
  • Find a middle ground. Talk about each other’s careers. You can then talk about your jobs in a general sense to keep the ball rolling, especially if both of you are passionate about it. This will draw out the differences and similarities, and the interest and discussion that would ensue would make your date interesting and fun.
  • Find out the things that both of you enjoy instead of focusing on your differences. It might be a nice surprise that although you are out of each others’ league, you have so much in common. You have the same uncanny ability to address problems in the workplace, you both love cats, the color green, and enjoy the same genre of books and films or you both hate avocado ice cream.
  • Be open, exchange ideas no matter how different. This will make the day exciting since you are both learning from an unusual person. If he is into tennis or another activity that you aren’t into, tell him that you don’t know but are actually interested to learn.
  • If you are the higher league, don’t belittle yourself because of what you are. It might be interpreted as highlighting your higher status. Be humble and do not develop a superior feeling. If you are the lower league, do not pity yourself and develop an inferiority complex. Focus on what you have accomplished and be proud of it. Accept yourselves for who you are.
  • Respect and accept the other as he or she is. Find out what makes the other tick aside from his or her known socio-economic status, or brilliance, education and wealth.
  • Be adaptable and open to learning, after all a date is a mutual exchange of knowledge, a way to get to know each other.
  • Just relax.
People or your friends may say both of you are out of each other’s league but it sure depends on both of you to make a date fun and enjoyable. So just be at ease and take pleasure in each other’s company. 


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