Single? Find Your Perfect Match

How to Meet your Online Dating Match in Person

Meeting your Match

You've exchanged "winks", emails, a couple of phone conversations and now it's time to get to the fun and nerve-wracking stage: meeting in person.  The first get-together is where the "sparks" fly or they don't and the pressure is can be intense but only if you let it.   The best and most effective way to handle the first date is to put your best foot forward.

Prepare for the Best

When you make a date to meet your potential love interest, muffle the tapes in your head that play negative messages.  Recognize that they are there and could be self-defeating. Instead, open your mind to the possibilities.  So what if the guy or girl doesn't isn't your "dreamboat", they could be your next good friend and there's nothing wrong with that is there?

Don't Make Judgments During the Date

On the first meeting, you are there to connect so choose a place that is casual and comfortable. During the date, don't push yourself one way or the other into seeing the other again. Once you decide the pressure is off, things will flow smoothly, you will be able to relax and enjoy the moment.   If your partner is uncomfortable or edgy, recognize that it's not you that's causing this reaction; it's the voices inside of their head.

Get Real

Be genuinely interested in the other person; you are getting to know someone new, how amazing is that in itself?  Be polite and take turns being careful to respect the other person whether the conversation is completely rigid or free flowing.  If you are asking questions in a genuine and caring manner, the other person will surly respond. If they don't, try asking it again in a different way. This keeps the conversation light and without judgment.

Just Say It

Talk about what matters to you.  It doesn't have to be heavy and depressing. Talk about your hobbies, your family, what you love about life, what brings joy to you, what you hope for, what you are working on and what made you laugh today.  Make sure the other person is responding in the same way. People love to talk about themselves and this shouldn't be hard if you keep it positive.

Eyes on Body Language

Look your date in the eyes; they are the window to the soul.  Make sure you don't have your arms crossed and try to avoid drinking alcohol, even though you may be nervous. Cocktails dull the senses and could lead to things you will regret later.

Check Date Reaction

Notice how your date is responding to the real you.  If they seem lost and indifferent, this is the signal that you need to move on.  If they seem too interested, it signals "hot to trot" and will burn out quickly.  If you are meant to be, the process will be long and ultimately enjoyable.

Leave and Let Live

Meeting a new person has been interesting and maybe it turned out exactly as you hoped and maybe it didn't but you made the effort and that is what makes the world go around.  You have a new experience to share and possibly more to come.  Practice these tips and you will be dating your way into a new way of thinking about interaction.



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