Your ex-husband and you have forgiven and forgotten the bitterness of your past relationship, decided that the best bet is to go your separate ways and live your own lives. Most important of all, for the sake of your children, you have decided to still be friends and good parents.
The first thing to consider before you start dating again is that you have fully healed from the break-up of a previous relationship. Then, it is finally time to enjoy the dating game again: find a good match or even that elusive soul mate, someone who understands and appreciates you inside and out, and hopefully, someone you get to spend the rest of your life with.
You then take a step forward by deciding to sign up at an online dating site, having a belief that the online site would possibly match you to someone compatible. How would you then fill in the details of your profile that would introduce you to prospective matches?
To stand out from all the rest, take time to describe yourself carefully, briefly, and interestingly. Make a descriptive picture of yourself so that your prospective matches would view you as one who lives your life fully with all its challenges and adventures. That way, you attract their attention and imagination.
After filling all the details, from the hobbies to the interests to the adventures you’ve experienced, now comes the difficult part. Would you mention that you have two wonderful children that are with you? You fear that if the guys or potential matches would read that you are a single mom, it would override the interest you generated in describing yourself.
Some people who have had the success of online dating feel that if you do not do so, it would be deceptive to your match and could possibly be the cause of closing a communication if you would mention it much later. Be sure to be honest so that they know what to expect from you. Experts advise that it is better this way so as not to be accused of being misleading when communication between a match has become more serious. On the bright side, some prospective matches are open to dating single moms with children living with them. Some of these guys are even single fathers themselves.
However, it would not be advisable at this time to put up pictures of your children. Wait for the time when communication becomes deeper, when there would be a deeper sharing of what matters most in your lives, and some understanding and acceptance of who you are. At this stage, you can be secure that if you show him a picture of your children, it would be appreciated. But steer clear of making your children too much of a topic. It shows an obsession with your kids. This would leave your prospective match wondering where he would fit in your life. A good reminder would be to show that you lead a balanced life.
Would you mention some things about your ex-husband? Only if he asks you or only if you have to make it clear that the relationship has really ended and now belongs to the past. You can tell him how both of you plan to bring up the kids and still remain friends for the children’s welfare. Do not discuss your ex excessively and even in a negative manner. Be objective and leave it at that.
Some dating sites would ask you what you would like in a partner. Truthfully describe what you would like in a partner and include how you like your status to be in five or ten years’ time.
Look for honesty, consistency and openness in the matches sent to you. If he too was in a relationship be sure he is over that and looking forward to another chance at love.
Enjoy your online dating experience. Do not rush to meet each other personally. Exhaust all means to get to know each other first. Communicate honestly and sincerely. Over time, your exchanges may become very personal. This would be the time to discuss some sensitive issues. Both of you can discuss objectively without the heated arguments of face to face dating. Then you turn to voice calls or webcam conversations until you are ready for that inevitable first date. Hopefully, from then on, it would be wonderful surprises along the way. You deserve another chance at love, marriage and happiness. So good luck on your search, and may you find what you are looking for!
