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Why 'Nice Guys' Don't Turn Women On & Finish Last

Good is Bad
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The saying "nice guys finish last" seems most applicable in dating.  Don't women want sweet, sensitive, caring men who will drop anything they are doing, their hobbies, their friends, their lives, and themselves to swoon over you and your friends, your hobbies and you?  Why does it seem like "bad boys" can choose any woman they want? You secretly envy the type that has a new woman every week and wonder what makes this flippant jerk so lucky.

If you look underneath the exterior, this type of guy does not "get" a deeply loving and caring relationship and the woman he is with is on a mission to suffocate him into being "the one" by giving him anything his heart desires to keep him around. Both of them crave the affirmation they get when they "score" but it is always short lived because either the man doesn't have the attention span or the emotional maturity to make a relationship last and the woman is left in the dust alone.

There are definitely women that fall into this same category. We all know the girl that takes the "nice guy" and turns him into dog meat.  These types are the ones that many nice guys are deeply "into".  They love to show off their prize and treat them with all the items that turn the "bad girl" off one random day, like a light switch.  For just the right amount of time, they suck the life out of the caring, compassionate, smothering man and spit him out, broken and alone.

The similarities between the two stories are uncanny and revolve around the insecurities of the one who finishes last.  The last in line lives their life on a mission to please the other in order to affirm themselves as "worthy" of love.  The way to overcome this state of mind and the actions that result from if is to learn to recognize the behaviors that don't work to get the results you want and consciously change them.

Real love is about mutual respect and not playing the "good" and "bad" game. Respect resonates within oneself and the real "winner" is the person who is good to themselves and therefore can win within healthy boundaries. This person attracts the same.

 


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